


To Fall Out of Love

by xoxoluvsucks



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Failing relationship, I Blame Tumblr, M/M, New Beginnings, One Shot, Sad, and, enjoy, had to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6808168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxoluvsucks/pseuds/xoxoluvsucks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when you've been in love with someone since the age of ten its hard to fall out of that same love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Fall Out of Love

**_To Fall Out of Love.  
A JeanMarco One Shot._ **

**_Enjoy._ **

***

 

 

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

It was never supposed to turn out this way.

But….

But it did.

It did and it fucking hurts.

 ~

“Marco!” Jean yelled as he followed Marco’s loud footsteps up the flight of stairs to their apartment.  “Marco…!”

Marco closed his eyes and jogged faster up the stairs; he kept his mouth shut as his chin quivered.

Marco quickly shoved his key into the doorknob and pushed the door open not bothering to close it for Jean was right behind him. Jean went into the Apartment and searched for Marco; he was in the bedroom hands on his dresser his head low and his back to Jean.

“Oh don’t you fuckin’ play the Victim, Marco!” Jean growled as he slammed their bedroom door.

Marco flinched and turned around Tears forming in his eyes; “Jean—listen---”

“No! Fuck…Marco!” Jean reached at his head and pulled at his hair. “I--- I can’t believe you…You fuckin’…fuckin’ LIED to me!” Jean pointed at finger at Marco, then at himself, “You _Lied_ to me!”

“J-Jean listen---”

“No Marco! I’m not listening! That’s it! We go out--- I plan a big GREAT dinner and…..and HE has to come over and ask you if you wanted to….Marco…” Jean looked Marco dead in the eyes and gulped taking a breath. “Marco, to think….t—think I was going to…pur….purpose…to….y-you…”

Marco hands reached for his mouth and covered it, he crouched to the ground as the tears spilled over his eyes, and he held back his scream.

Jean felt weak also; he stumbled to the bed and leaned over the edge holding his head. He sobbed. Marco did too.

“How’d we get here?” Jean asked as the sobs came.

 ~

They were ten when they met; both sat under a tree during recess and when a dodgeball hit Little Jean’s face Marco was there to make sure he was okay. They’ve been inseparable since.

Until Marco’s family had to move when he was thirteen; his father was in the air force. Marco was Jeans Anchor, and little did either of them know that when Marco leaves it’s only a matter of Two months before Jean’s life goes downhill.

Jean turns fourteen and enters high school; at first he is bullied as the “Emo” kid, in which he really wasn’t even “Emo”. Until he hung out with the older group of boys one day and they taught how to fit in. and by fitting in that meant...

Drugs.

Jean did Drugs every weekend at parties and his parents found out and made his life hell; but as they did so the drugs increased and slowly Jean would lose himself.

He would collapse one day sophomore year and would be out for a week. He’d wake up and become utterly depressed. He had nothing to live for anymore--- or so he thought.

He finally gets to go home after another week in the hospital and as they pull into the big driveway of his cookie cutter house Jean sees a moving truck across the street.

He doesn’t see anyone his age so he dismisses it.

Later that night Jean is on his bed and thoughts of Marco come into his mind and somehow he thinks Marco is dead. Only because he hasn’t heard from him since he left. Jean stubbles out of bed and outside of the house in his Sweat pants and a tank top and just walks towards the small river down the way from his house.

His thoughts are only filled with “You have nothing anymore….no friends, no family….no Marco.”

He would get to the small bridge that sat about ten feet over the small bank below him and he would climb onto it and sit. He would stare at his reflection as tears would puddle into his eyes.

No Anchor.

“You okay?” a small voice would come from behind him.

Jean would tense and grip onto the wood beam under him, he would nod once.

The person shuffles behind him and moves closer, “I don’t think you are.” The voice is soft but strong.

Jean keeps his head down eyes focused on his own reflection. He would take a shaky breath and close his eyes.

“So what if I’m not?”

He could feel the person behind him now, just a centimeter from him.

“…Can I help you down?”

Soft.

Jean shudders against the cold.

He shakes his head.

“Yes. I’m helping you down.”

Strong.

Jean pulls in one more breath as he starts to lean forward until Firm hands grab onto his abdomen pulling him back.

Jean would start to cry he didn’t know why but he does; the person holds onto him as he pulls Jean to the ground.

The person sits on the ground pulling Jean to him and Jean would curl inside him without a word of who this person might be.

And they would sit there for an hour; Jean quietly whimpering into the persons shirt and neck and coat and the person humming while slowly stroking Jean’s hair.

An Anchor.

 ~

Marco Marco Marco; that is what Jean’s mind would repeat as he stared up into warm deep brown eyes.

“Y-You’re here?” Jean whispers afraid it all is just a dream.

“I’m here.”

 A few years later when eighteen Jean and Marco would end up sleeping together and Jean would think Marco—for some weird reason--- Hated him now. Marco was sure to let Jean know just how much he liked him.

They would have trouble telling friends and family but somehow they did; was it easy? No. but did it help? Yes. And to be able to outwardly love each other was everything to the,

And ever since that fateful night when eighteen they’ve been together since.

 Aside from two months ago; two months ago Jean and Marco had a fight over family, work and life together really and Marco would leave for a few weeks. Now when was gone, Marco…was pretty stupid; he ended up sleeping with an old friend a few times. But in the end he would regret it, for tonight when out to dinner after having just fixed everything back up with Jean the person just had to drunkenly stumble to Marco and Jean’s table asking if Marco wanted “Another go”.

Marco never saw so much color drain from Jean’s face so fast. And to Marco when he saw that he saw his whole world crashing down.

 ~

Jean was still leaning over his knees holding onto the back of his head trying to calm his breathing. It all happened so fast: The person, the feeling and the hurt and pain…all of it. So damn fast.

“…Why Marco?” Jean whispered into the silent room. “Why’d you do it?”

Marco was sitting against the bed on the ground on the other side; he ran a hand through his hair, “I…I just thought…”

“Thought what?” Jean snapped.

Marco let his eyelids fall as he took a breath, “I thought we were…”

“Done?” Jean stood up and went to the door, “We weren’t ‘done’ back then.” He paused as he reached for the doorknob, “But now, we’re most defiantly done.” And with that he left Marco.

Marco slowly stood up and stared at the door of the bedroom and wondered to himself: _Did I really just let him leave?_

Marco slowly walked over to the door and listened and sure enough he heard the door of their apartment open and close. Gone; Jean was gone. Marco turned the light switch off instantly covering the room in darkness. He walked over to the bed and slowly laid himself down on Jean’s side. He breathed in the smell and suddenly he was shaking.

Marco sobbed loudly as he curled himself into a ball as he clutched onto the bed sheets; he felt like a child but he didn’t care. He cried and let himself cry all night; he only stopped a few times because he thought he heard Jean come back but no. Jean never came back.

 ~ **One month Later** ~

Marco barley left the apartment; he just stayed in since he had nowhere to go. He ate left overs or didn’t eat at all, he watched TV or slept all day. When his phone rang or a text came in, he ignored it for he couldn’t bring himself to look at his lock screen. And when the doorbell rang he pretended to be gone.

One month and still nothing from Jean.

Today Marco decided it was time to take a shower, so he did that and it only slightly refreshed him; he still felt foggy inside.

When he went into the kitchen he cleaned it and then he opened up the window blinds and saw the sun for the first time in forever. He stared at how beautiful it happened to be on this early spring day. He smiled a small smile.

A knock came at the door and Marco went over to answer it.

“Mikasa.” Marco would say surprised but relieved that it wasn’t Eren.

Mikasa gave Marco a small smile and hugged his lightly; she didn’t say anything but he knew this was her ‘I’m sorry’.

He nodded as she pulled away, “Marco…” she lifted up the bag in her hands, “I brought some food.”

Marco smiled again as the small thoughts of Jean lifted out of his mind for this small moment.

 ~

After eating and talking, Mikasa said she had to leave, “You should get out too.” She told Marco.

Marco just nodded as Jean came back into his mind. “I’ll…try.”

Mikasa stared long and hard at Marco then bit her tongue as she reached out a small delicate hand and pressed it to the side of Marco’s face, “It’s not your fault.” She whispers.

Marco’s eyes widen for a quick second until he lets them drop again, “It is.”

“No, Marco it isn’t.” Mikasa said giving her ‘this is final’ tone to her words.

“Mikasa…” Marco felt his stomach turn, “thank you for the food but I really need to be…alone.”

Mikasa nodded and kissed Marco’s forehead, “Call me anytime, Marco.” She would say as she walks out.

Marco closes the door behind her and leans against it; he lifts his head up as tears form in his eyes. He closes them as he slides down the door onto the floor.

His heart hurt.

“….Jean…” he sobbed then stopped slightly covering his mouth with one hand; that was the first time he said Jean’s name in a while.

 ~

Eventually Marco did get dressed and went out; he wore his jeans an orange-red sweater and a black scarf. He went to get coffee first; it was nice--- to interact with people again.

He took a walk in the city park and watched as kids played and as old couples came and went; he felt his shoulders lifting, that is, until he saw it.

A dark blue sweater loosely hanging on a thin man with black skinny jeans and a black beanie; and a smile that always made Marco’s heart skip a beat.

“Jean,” the name left his lips tasting bittersweet.

Sure enough Jean was at the park but he wasn’t alone and sullen like Marco was; he was smiling as he held onto two coffee cups and was talking to someone. That someone was short with blonde hair that rested just above his shoulders and big ocean eyes; the person reached up and grabbed a cup out of Jean’s hand and then intertwined his and Jean’s free hands together.

They were walking towards Marco’s direction; Marco froze, he didn’t know what to do; he was scared. What was _Jean_ doing?

And when Jean looked up he stopped; juts four feet away from Marco, Jean stopped in his tracks staring wide-eyed at Marco and Marco did the same.

“Marco.” Jean breathed and it refreshed Marco to hear his name on those lips.

“J-Jean,”

“Y-you….you’re out! You’re okay,” Jean seemed genially happy.

Marco was taken back a bit but he helplessly laughed, “I-I guess.”

Jean smiled again then the person next to him coughed and Jean jumped then smiled again, “Marco, this is Armin…”

Armin nodded as a light blush crept up his face, “h-hello.” He said softly.

“Armin this is Marco,” Jean breathed the name again, “my forever best friend.”

Marco’s world stopped as he smiled; tears formed, he shook his head a dipped it low, “N-nice to meet you Armin.”

But at ‘Best friend’ Armin sprung out of Jean’s grasp and grabbed Marco’s hand and shook it with much enthusiasm, “it’s so nice to meet you! Wow! You’re Jean’s best friend! I-it’s an honor.”

Marco smiled sheepishly and nodded as he quickly glanced at Jean who was starring hard back at him, “y-yeah.…that’s m-me…”

“It is so nice to meet you!” Armin let go and went back to jean, “b-but we’re gonna be late for a thing--- until next time!” Armin said as he pulled on Jean.

Jean stopped and kissed Armin’s head, “I’ll be there in a minuet, okay?”

Armin giggled as nodded and he walked off.

Jean and Marco stood there; a distance was between them as words hung in the air around them. Marco held his breath as Jean took a few of them.

“Marco,” Jean spoke softly, “you know, you’re my best friend. A-and, what happened….was hard. But if it did happen…we were doomed from the start right?” Jean looked up from the ground at Marco; his eyes pleaded for Marco to make this easy as he bit his lip.

Marco closed his eyes and gulped down his cry, “y-yep.” He shut his eyes harder and didn’t dare open his mouth for he felt his pain growing.

“Good.” Jean said and to Marco’s surprise, he reached out and pulled him in for a small hug.

After standing there for a good minuet Jean let go of Marco for the last time and scratched the back of his head, “s-so, text me whenever you…need to talk, okay?”

Marco just stared at the ground as he nodded; he watched Jean’s feet turn to leave but they stopped.

“Marco,”

“Hm?” he watched the ground with intenseness.

“Look up.”

And when Marco looked up at Jean’s face what he saw was Jean, all of Jean wide open. Jean’s eyes were sad and filled with tears as a broken smile lain across his face.

“It’s hard for me too.” And with that Jean went off and disappeared into the busy streets.

Marco stood there and watched Jean until he couldn’t see him anymore.

He looked at the sky and slowly it was starting to rain again and Marco wondered to himself, something people always wonder at times like these.

“Is this what it’s like to fall out of love?”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry Sorry!  
> i know how hard it can be to read a sad JeanMarco relationship fic like this but i had to write and i love you for reading it!  
> i hope you enjoyed it and felt aaaalllll the feelz.   
> ~Nina


End file.
